Being guarded dating
Dating can be scary and love; terrifying yet we’re all going to do it at some point.
Instead of avoiding what scares you do more of what delights you.
When she gets there, we end up hooking up immediately and have some amazing sex. But she still can't say the words that she has feelings for me out loud. A couple days later I decide to go see her late at night, because she is leaving on vacation for three weeks with one of her best friends. She says as amazing as it was she felt bad the next day because she still had feelings for her ex, and it was kind of realizing it was all over with him.
She tells me I was able to bring her walls down, the only person able to do so other than her Ex. The next day my best friend asks me what I did last night and I tell him "me and xxx finally had sex! She says she doesn't regret it though and doesn't think it was a mistake........
You feel guarded, you have a wall up, you can’t get close to people and you’re afraid of getting hurt. We would all like to love with reckless abandon but we can’t because of that one relationship, with that one asshole, that one time. If you’re guarded it’s because you believe that you’re something you are not and you are fighting to maintain that image your ego has made. Brick by brick you have to start to dismantle those barriers and start living and dating. So how do you break down your walls and begin to date freely?
Walls protect our egos, the person we want to believe that we are, not our hearts.
Walls protect us from having to share the back story. Learning to say yes, no and I don’t want to talk about it can be critical in dating. Sometimes we’re afraid to answer straightforward questions so we avoid getting close to anyone who might ask.
Keep asking yourself for what you want until you give into yourself and finally do it. We believe that things will never change, and that the past predicts our future. We believe, most detrimentally, that if others really knew us they wouldn’t like us. In relationships I used to give political and ambiguous answers when asked tough questions.Without that expression of love you’re crippling yourself.Be courageous enough to express love and shine your light. Single men and women can find very creative ways to keep others out.I would meander, I would talk in circles, and I would bullshit.When I learned to simply say yes or no and stop explaining I found that I could get my point across a lot easier.