Dating a woman with genital herpes
So I go on the date were having a good time she's pretty and seems like she's into me I'm feeling pretty good about it at this point.Fast forward to the next day and I get a text saying before we go any further she has to let me know that she has herpes and that if that's something I'm not okay I with I should let her know now.It's ugly, but you can do everything else you could before, save for some precaution.But that's for other people's sake, not your own.Can't believe this has to be stated but apparently it does: Friends don't give friends shit for not wanting STDs. Even if you don't care about the disease itself (since it's relatively mild, and can be managed with medication), you've severely limited your future dating pool. Herpes does not affect you emotionally or mentally anymore than any other permanent disease or condition would.That in and of itself is a good reason not to be okay with dating someone with herpes. In fact, it's a lot like a physical scar in terms of its seriousness and effect on your daily life.Just no kissing or BJ's (like I even get those to begin with) during an... Unless there was an adamant belief that we would spend the rest of our lives together...If you don't have it, why risk contracting it?
Let me be very clear: I will never endorse an STI dating site. STI dating services would make great hacking targets in an online landscape where vigilante justice is all the rage and people with STIs are unsympathetic victims (whaddup, Ashley Madison). But here’s the big, huge, important fucking reason I’ll never support a herpes dating service: these products contribute to herpes stigma.But it's sounding like you're implying that the disease affects your brain. And not being clear enough about that is only insinuating myth and adding to the already disproportional social stigma that already comes with this relatively harmless disease. And that friend is being shitty for trying to shame him for making a completely fair decision. The drug company stigmatized herpes (which where just called cold sores at that point) so they could sell herpes treatments, since there was no market for cold sore treatments. A combination of condoms, antivirals, and avoiding sex during outbreaks makes the odds of transmission really, really low, like 1% annually or something.Seriously, I would strongly advise you get actual data on stds before coming to these kinds of conclusions, as most stds aren't that big of a deal. A booming app industry in Silicon Valley means that new STI dating services pop up every few months, and a cursory Google search means that their marketing team, or their founder, or their intern, quickly discovers me. As time goes on and stigma lessens, there will be less of a demand for these services. She wanted me to become a spokesperson, and when I refused, someone higher up in the food chain emailed me again. But then the same thing happened again with another STI dating site, and then another, and another. I don’t think any STI dating service is going to reinvent the wheel and be successful when so many have tried and failed in the past.
So I'm just wondering Askmen am I in the wrong?