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Work boundaries–do you like to do a task alone or with the other?
Some run a business together, some say they could never work with their partner, as if the idea is absurd. Is it okay to flirt or have sexual fantasies about someone outside the relationship, or even have sex with someone else? Or would you never do that, and be upset if your partner did?
If you doubt this, go to Google Scholar and look up “,” or any of the alternative search items below it.
Often, we learn from our families or our culture where the boundaries should be.
(You can see the measure by searching on the web for “IOS Scale Aron” and going to images.) You might say that the circles represent each person’s personal boundary, and the overlap indicates how much they let each other in, include the other.
Most people choose moderately overlapping circles to indicate their relationship, but some couples indicate very little overlap or almost total overlap.
There are obviously boundaries around your time–how much of the time do you want to be together? (By the way, with fantasies, there is a big difference between what goes on in your head and what you tell the other about or do.) What about having your closest friend be someone besides your partner? Are you careful about talking about your partner to others, such as their parents or yours, or close friends, with the other present or not present?
And money, since “time is money.” Do you merge finances or keep them separate? (Or sports versus no interest at all in sports.)Here is an important potential difference—how much of a boundary is there between you as a couple and other people? Or do neither of you care or even expect confidentiality?
Because according, again, to this , nothing quite satisfies us because anything in the “relative” is finite and we get used to it. Not that other things in life become unreal or not enjoyable. For me, it makes it easier to let go of the small stuff, including having to have a relationship or a person be a certain way.