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“The underlying message is that you’re not able to take care of yourself.”So you get into relationships with Mr. “If there is change, consider that to be a gift from heaven.
But don’t count on it.”“Just because it was the best sex you ever had doesn’t mean that this is the best partner for you,” says certified sex therapist and psychologist Stephanie Buehler, Psy.
Just because you don't like your teenager's partner doesn't mean he's a bad person.
However, if the signs are there -- he's flunking out of school, using or selling drugs or treating your child badly -- it's your job as a parent to step in.
It’s the emotional equivalent of the hamster wheel: You never get the guy, no matter how hard you work. Improving hair and wardrobe is about the best you can do.
But the thought that you mightif you just hang on a little longer keeps you in the game.“Women are willing to deal with long stretches of crap for that momentary approval or affection,” explains clinical psychologist Dennis P. D., co-author of Chalk this one up to family issues again, especially if the message you internalized growing up was, “You need a man to take care of you.”“Fear of being alone is a huge factor that keeps people in bad relationships,” says Mackler, the life/relationship coach. (Though you might make some headway with the toilet-seat-down thing.)But serious character flaws? or leaving him.“What you see is what you’re going to get,” Sugrue says.
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Approaching her with love and concern is crucial to persuading her to stop dating a loser.Talk to your teen about what constitutes a healthy relationship.Explain to her that someone who really loves a partner doesn't talk down to her, pressure her to do acts that make her uncomfortable, leave her if she says no to sex or ask her to cut off her friends.Once she sees that you're nice to him but he's not nice to you, it might open her eyes.Encourage your teen's interests -- besides him, of course.
Talk often about the future, let her know you believe in her talent and help her make concrete plans for achieving her goals.