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Create an environment that will help, not hinder your progress towards true independence.
Remove all the temptations to stay connected to your ex (here are some ideas to help you reclaim your space after divorce).
Within this framework, you are free to do the inner work of healing.
My ex and I had a fairly amicable divorce and we have managed to move out of each other's lives albeit for the children. In reading the book, Leaving Him Behind by Sandra Kahn, she mentioned something that set off a light for me.
All too often, women experience the same conflicts with their ex that originally led to divorce: constant arguments, reactive behavior leading to emotional upsets, old patterns of reliance, the barrage of destructive barbs aimed at your self-esteem and deep hurts.
You must do the same thing when you are working at disentangling yourself from your ex after divorce.The answer lies in breaking the emotional ties that keep you bound to these old habits, as outlined in the article below.By Shelley Stile Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce.Take the analogy of going on a diet to lose weight.You need to create an environment that will both motivate and move you towards your goal.
There are those women who cannot have their ex in their lives for any reason other than the children.